Doing what I want, wanting to do what I don’t

In an age of planning, preparation and thinking of your next move ages before actually committing it, there is a lot of regret. Of what could have been, of how time could have been better spent and how much one could have accomplished.

I often reflect at the end of a day or the end of a weekend of what I could have done better in that time, how life could have been improved. This pursuit of perfection gets maddening every day. I mean I have my goals set straight and life planned out and a step by step routine to do all that I have deemed necessary. But then I find myself at the end of the day munching on a bar of chocolate watching something entirely random on YouTube wondering where did the day go?

Once the bout of regret and the promise of a more active tomorrow are over with I begin to brood. If I wile away the day doing stuff which I clearly prefer doing than what I had planned am I really at a loss? I want to improve my mind and my body by acts of education and exercise but I evade these self-imposed resolutions by spending hours watching the latest film to hit the theaters. I enjoy all of this so is it really bad? I mean you get only 1 life so is it really worth spending it where clearly the journey is not fun although the destination might be? Should you fill your day with little bouts of joy or await for the monthly or annual culmination of great excitement and happiness?

Sure enough the social zeitgeist shall dictate the sacrifice of all that you love doing today in the hope of a better tomorrow but that has always been the case. If everyone was a grasshopper, there would be no ants to envy now would there?



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