I have been writing quite a lot recently. Although what I produce doesn’t get an audience anymore, it has become a more regular process. Hence the omnipresent need to blog has been fleeting of late. Life has never been more active or worthy of reporting than it is now. But time and inclination have been playing hide and seek. However there is one major difference between this kind of writing and the other one which is now nearly mandatory. This is free, it is without constraints and limited only by my own sense of self representation. The other is more structured, demanding and harshly judged on content.
One doesn’t realize how important this distinction can be. It is easy to get lost in the mist of self pity and wallowing in a sense of busyness and to ignore recreational wordplay. If it caters to a need of community appreciation or community expression it is still driven and motivated. But if like in my case, this kind of writing is purely for the exercising of literary muscles and the maintenance of one’s fragile creativity; things get murky. There is no external motivation, no reward for this act of indulgence. No justification other than the flimsy one of it’s a hobby. One could get metaphysical on oneself and claim a sense of ease delivered by the crafting of lucid sentences and expressing what no one asked to be expressed. But the truth of the matter is that it is the sense of purposelessness that one begins to covet. Not to write to inspire, to deliver, to discuss or to impress but to write for the sake of writing. It’s like revving the accelerator on a noisy scooter or bike when standing still. One could see it as a waste of fuel, imagination and time. But it is these acts of not so public verbal jousting that without being purposeful in themselves relieve the triviality bound to seep in to other tasks of meaningful writing.
Words are bound to come out, they have this unsuppressible nature. It is best that the most vibrant and zealous of them come out in an environment where they can do little harm. For in academic writing, the more imaginative lamentations of youth are not wholly encouraged.